He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
