I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
