Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
