so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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