someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
