you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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