Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
