Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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