Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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