i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
