The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
