A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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