I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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