OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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