You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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