They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
