i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
