this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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