He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
