Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
