love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
