And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
