How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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