I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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