she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
