Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
