Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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