Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.