Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

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(773): View more from Illinois

So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing

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(818): View more from California

Tell me how you feel about belly buttons

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(905): View more from Ontario

How was the party

(1-905): View more from Ontario

I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me

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