i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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