Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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