A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
vagina is talking i cant
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
