I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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