He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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