were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so let's talk penis.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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