I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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