You're my little dorito
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
