Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
