Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
