Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize