have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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