Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize