I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there's paper in my vomit.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
