figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
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You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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