Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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