am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
