I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
