I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
