I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
