i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
