My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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