So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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