Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure