My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
