What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.