Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.