you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you