There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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