Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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