Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
