Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
