Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
