thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
