oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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