Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize