That's intense
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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