Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag