Dual....:-)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
