how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
