ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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