i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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