The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
