He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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