I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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