I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
