maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
